If you think names are simple, think again!
A person’s name depends on the culture in which they live. People from outside that culture and language group might not be sure what to call someone else in certain situations. They might wonder how names are chosen. They may even be confused when filling out forms and legal documents. If you need a little clarification‘clarification’ noun = information that helps people understand something clearly on western name traditions and rules, read on. We’ve got helpful information about casual and legal names in English-speaking countries.
First Names
Another way to say ‘first name’ is ‘given name’. This is because it is the name that your parents gave you when you were born. Or in some cases, perhaps your grandparents named you.
In Canada, the U.S. and other English-speaking countries, most people are named by their parents. Generally speaking, parents do not focus too much on the meaning or origins‘origins’ noun = where something comes from; source of the name they give their child. They don’t usually take the baby’s date or year of birth into account like in some cultures.
How do they pick a name? Are there any special name traditions and rules? Western parents usually just choose what sounds good to them. It’s that simple! Many people go to baby name books or websites for inspiration‘inspiration’ noun = source of a new idea. Of course, if there’s a positive meaning attached to that name, it’s a bonus! Each year, you can find the most popular names that are trending for boys and girls in your country. For instance, here’s a list of popular baby names in Canada in 2020.
Occasionally, a child is named after someone important. Usually it’s a family member or ancestor‘ancestor’ noun = someone from a previous generation in your family line. If a son has the same name as his father, he might have ‘Junior’ added to the end of his name. Sometimes babies are named after someone from history that the parents admire. And yes, once in a while, fans of a book, film or TV program will give their child the name of a fictional‘fictional’ adj. = not real; made up from imagination character!
Like in all countries, when a baby is born, the parents register for a birth certificate with the full name. Does the government ever say ‘no’ to a child’s legal name? Only if the parents have chosen something completely offensive‘offensive’ adj. = impolite, hurtful, rude or ridiculous‘ridiculous’ adj. = silly, funny, like a joke! For example, if parents wanted to name their child ‘Toilet‘, they would not be allowed because it wouldn’t be in the child’s best interest (obviously!) Legally banning a name does happen, but this is very uncommon.
Using People’s Nicknames
A ‘nickname‘ is either a shortened version of a person’s name, or another name that the person uses. These names are usually used for family members, and close friends and co-workers. Don’t assume you can use a nickname for someone you don’t know very well. They may be OK with it, or they might not like it. If you have heard other people use a nickname for that person, and it seems appropriate for you to do so, ask the person first. For example, you could say, “Do you mind if I call you Barb? Or do you prefer Barbara?”
You might have a nickname which you use all the time in social and professional settings. But keep in mind that if it is not your legal name, you shouldn’t use it in official‘official’ adj. = legal contexts, such as immigration documents, health files, banking and legal contracts.
Middle Names
Most western parents choose one (or two) ‘middle names‘ for their child. It’s often the name of a family member or ancestor. It’s a nice way to show respect and preserve a bit of family history. We don’t usually use our middle names in Canada, except on official identification and documents. Many people don’t even know their close friends’ middle names!
Last Names
When you fill out a document or registration, the ‘last name’ might be called ‘family name’. This is because all the people in your family share the same last name. Or in western countries, the people in their father’s family share this last name.
The majority of last names in English-speaking nations come from the father’s side of the family. It is a very old naming tradition that continues today. The exception is when a person is raised fully or mostly by his or her mother and not the father. In this case, the child might have the mother’s last name.
What is a maiden name?
In most English-speaking countries, when a woman get married, she changes her family’s last name (her ‘maiden’ name) to her husband’s last name. This is a long-held name tradition that more and more young women choose not to follow these days.
The main benefit of adopting‘adopting’ verb = accepting, using something new the husband’s last name is the fact that everyone in the family (husband, wife and children) will share one common last name. It brings unity and makes life easier in many situations. Most Canadians do this, except for residents of Quebec. They have a special name rule. In this French-speaking province, a woman legally keeps her family name, even after getting married. If she wants to use her husband’s last name, she must go through a long process in the court system.
Changing Traditions
As North American women seek equality with their male partners, the tradition of using their husband’s name can seem very old and outdated‘outdated’ adj. = not relevant or important anymore. Giving up a woman’s maiden name can seem like losing part of her personal identity, family history and culture. It can seem like she now ‘belongs’ to her husband. This goes against the western idea of a marriage relationship based on mutual‘mutual’ adj. = shared by two or more people respect and love.
In addition to this, it is inconvenient to change your last name after getting married. Women have to fill out paperwork and show proof of marriage in order to legally change their name. Repeating this process for passports, health insurance, driver’s licenses, credit cards and bank accounts can be exhausting. Therefore, you’ll see more and more married couples with different last names. And if there’s a divorce years down the line‘down the line’ idiom = at some point later on? The woman will not have to decide whether to change her name back or not!
Hyphenated Names
Another alternative is a ‘hyphenated‘ name. This means if a ‘Smith’ marries a ‘Wilson’, the woman’s new last name will become ‘Smith-Wilson’. Often the wife and children will have a hyphenated name, but it is not common for the husband to hyphenate his name in English-speaking nations.
Name Order
In western countries, it is standard for your official name to be in this order: 1. given name, 2. middle name, 3. family name. For example, Mary Alice Williamson. This might be a source of confusion for people from countries where the family name comes first and the given name comes last.
Sometimes on official English documents, the family (last) name will be listed first, followed by a comma (,), then the given names come after. This is because it’s more efficient‘efficient’ adj. = working easily and well to arrange people’s files in a database alphabetically (in order from A to Z) by family name.
Formal Titles
In formal contexts, people use Mr., Mrs., Miss or Ms. in front of their last name or both their first and last name. For example, one might be called Mr. Wilson or Mr. John Wilson. What do these ‘titles‘ mean?
- Mr. (sounds like ‘mis-ter’) = any man
- Mrs. (sounds like ‘mis-iz) = a woman who is (or was) married
- Miss (sounds like ‘mis’) = a woman who is not married
- Ms. (sounds like ‘miz’) = any woman with any marital status
These titles have been around for hundreds of years, although ‘Ms.’ is a recent addition to the list. Nowadays, many women prefer to use Ms. This is because they feel their marital status‘marital status’ noun = the state of being single, married, divorced, etc. is not important to their name or identity.
Up until recently, people in English-speaking countries used these titles every day. Neighbours, coworkers, store clerks and their customers would call each other Mr. / Mrs. / Miss ‘so-and-so’. Employees would always refer to their bosses by their last names. Children would have to show respect to adults by using Mr. / Mrs. / Miss.
Things have really changed over the past few decades‘decade’ noun = 1 decade = 10 years. In general, people have become much more casual. It’s now common to call almost everyone by their first names only. It’s not strange anymore to hear a child call his / her parents’ friends by their first names or an employee to refer to a manager by the first name.
So, when do we use titles? Formal titles and last names are still used by students when they speak with their teachers. Customer service agents usually use them in discussions with clients. And formal business communication, government letters and special invitations include them as well. A person’s full name is included in a mailing address (with or without the title) and a letter would begin like: “Dear Mrs. Smith…”
Medical doctors, dentists and PhD holders prefer to go by Dr. (‘Doctor’), followed by their last name. University and college professors without a Doctorate should be called Professor _______.
What should you call someone you meet?
When you meet a new person for the first time in a casual situation, such as at a party or in class, first names are acceptable. This is usually the case in work settings and job interviews as well. So, feel free to say something like, “Hi, Mark. Nice to meet you. I’m Francesca.”
Formal gatherings are tricky‘tricky’ adj. = hard to figure out. When in doubt, it’s best to be more formal rather than too casual, especially with an elderly‘elderly’ adj. = of advanced age, senior, 65+ person. You can also ask them what they prefer. For example, if you are communicating with an older person or someone in a formal context, like a special business meeting, formal banquet or clinical setting, you could ask one of these questions:
- “What do you go by, Mark or Mr. Paneer?”
- “Do you prefer Mark or Mr. Paneer?”
- “May I call you Mark?”
- “Is it OK if I call you Mark?”
If you are not aware of the person’s gender‘gender’ noun = whether one identifies as male or female, you should ask that person how they would like to be addressed‘be addressed’ verb = be called by other people.
Legal Name
What are the rules about legal names? Your legal name is typically the same as the name on your birth certificate. Or if you’ve done an official name change, it is your current name. The first and last names are essential‘essential’ adj. = necessary, something you must have on legal documents; the middle name isn’t usually necessary.
Your Signature
There is a difference between writing your name and writing your signature. If you need to write your name when filling out a form, you should clearly print your name. When a document asks for your ‘signature‘, it means the unique (one-of-a-kind) way you write your name. No one else has your signature. Your signature is part of your legal identity. It is used by law to prove that you, and nobody else, actually signed your name on the paper and agreed to its content.
What are initials?
Sometimes you will be asked to put your ‘initials‘ next to information on a document. Initials are the first letters in your names. This usually means the first letter in your given name, then the first letter in your family name. For example, if your name is David Cheng, your initials will look like DC or D.C.
Foreign Names in an English Context
Throughout Canada’s history, many immigrants were pressured‘pressured’ verb = pushed, forced by Canadians to stop using their original names. They were encouraged to choose an ‘acceptable’ new English name in our country. This unfortunately still happens today. It might be because English-speakers have trouble pronouncing foreign‘foreign’ adj. = from outside one’s country or language names properly. It might also be their attempt to ‘Canadianize’ newcomers.
However, it’s not a practice we should continue. Local residents need to work hard to learn the proper pronunciation of everyone’s name. We also need to embrace’embrace’ verb = happily welcome the fact that newcomers and visitors have every right to keep their cultural and ethnic identities – even while living in a new country.
This is part of the diversity‘diversity’ noun = different cultures, languages, races, etc. that makes our country a welcoming, multicultural home for so many. Your name is a big part of who you are, so it’s important to be yourself – wherever you might be.
Does your culture have special name traditions or rules? Share them with us!
Esther Penner is the creator of Open Up English. She has worked in the English language education industry for over 20 years. She has taught ESL, coordinated international student recruitment, arranged homestay accommodations and done contract writing for educational programming. Esther’s first teaching job in Japan inspired her love of travel and culture. She was born and raised in Toronto, Canada, where she lives with her husband, daughter and grumpy cat Henry.
